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第34章温情四溢的生活(5)
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OrelseyougraduallyeapartinLondon,andtheillyougetyain,severally,butbeclearaboutit.ItliesbetweenyouandKatherine,nowhereelse.
Ofcourseyou'tdreamoflivinglongwithoutwork.'tyougettheWestmiogiveyoutwonsaweek,abroad?Youmusttry.YoumuststicktocriticisYououghtalsotoplanabook,eitheroerarypoint,orsomeman.IshouldliketowriteabookonEnglishheroines.Yououghttodosomethingofthatsort,butnotso'ttryaryessays,likeaterorsomebodyofthatstyle.Butyouethinggoodinthatlihieratureratherthanlife.
Andyoumustrest,andyouaheal,aher,beforeyoudoanyseriousworkofanysort.It'sthesplitidrainsyou.Yousee,whileshedoesn'treallyloveyou,andisnotsatisfied;youshhtfuldisadvaityyourmimight,uces,producebeautifuldeligsiionaion.Andshehasarighttoprovidethes.Butnotifyoudon'ttrustyourselfnorhernoranybody,butgoonslopping,aohersmallerside.
...
Ifyouwantthingstht—ifyouareillaed,theothelastpenherdoherowhenshe'llknowyouloveher.Youeherifshe'snotsatisfiedwithyou.IfIhaven'thadenoughdinner,youeme.But,youfool,yousquanderyourself,oprovideherwithpettyluxuriesshedoesn'treallywant.Youinsulther.Awomanuhaveluxuries.Butawomanwholovesamanwouldsleeponaboard.
...
Look.Wepay60lireamonthforthishouse:25lirefortheservant;andfoodisverycheap.Youcouldliveohiy—aedas"Signoria"wheogetheritisthesameas"Guteen;"thatwouldbeluxuryenoughforKatherine.
&up,lad,andbeamanforyourself.It'sthemaake,whoisihewhogives.
IthinkOxforddidyouhar
Itisbeautiful,wonderful,here.
Aten-poundnoteis253lire.Wecouldgetyou,Ibelieve,ajollymentinabiggarden,inahousealone,for80lireamonth.Don'twasteyourself—don'tbesillyandfloppy.Youknowwhatyoucoulddo—youcouldwrite—thenprepareyourself:andfirstmakeKatheriinherloveforyou.Say"ThisIwilllydo"!
itwouldbeareliefforhertohearyou.Don'tbea'tkeepthatratherchildishcharThraway,andsay,"NowIayowngood,atlast."
&inggraduallyneareragain,FriedaandI.Itisverybeautifulhere...
D.H.Lawrence
Lerici,perFiaso,
GolfodellaSpezia,Italy
Thursday1913
亲爱的默里:
我收到你的信后,马上就给你回信,跟你坦白我的看法。
你认为不打算接受凯瑟琳的钱,这意味着你对她的爱情不信任。
你说她需要一点物质享受,你不忍心去剥夺她这点权利。
这种说法说明你对自己和她都不够尊重。
在我看来,你们俩好像不但没有日益亲密,反而是在将你们之间的纽带一根根地扯断。
我认为你们两人应该开诚布公地沟通一下。
她必须明确是否真正需要你,愿和你长相厮守,一生不再需要其他的男人。
这意味着要有所失。
在我看来,人生的唯一准则是要舍小利而取大义。
不过,一个人对待这种事要采取诚实的态度。
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