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第7章情暖今生WarmintheLife
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茹涅·吉尔JunieGirl
Itwaswellaftermid-night,edinmywarmfleecyrobe.IstoodsilentlystarihfloorwindowofthedauntingNewYorkhospital.IwasstarireetBridge.ItarkliifulasaChristmastree.NewYorkcityhasalwaysbeeome;theBroadwaytheatre,themusic,therestaurants-fromthedeli'stotheTavern-ohisiswhatthecityissupposedtobeabout,”
Iththemtoeaaihemdideandatninea.onthatMarch17th,IwaswheelediingrooElevenhoursandforty-fivemierIwaswheeledintoare,andaveryfewhreturomyownhospitalroom,Ifouuallyo,halfwalking,halfpropelledbymedicalequipmentandmembersofmyfamily.Theordersweretowalkthelengthandbackofthelonghospitalcorridor.
ItwasthenthatIfirstsawhiIsawhimthroughahazes,painandthedreamyuhatthiscouldbehappeningtome.HewasstandinginthedooritalrooInmytwilight,ueIsawhimalmostasaspiritshaperatherthanafullblowthebodylahisshapewassomehowsendingoutsympathyandeome.
Thisbecamemydailyroutihreeweeks.AsIgailemththemaandinginthedoorway,smilingandnoddingasIwouldpasswithoneormoremembersofmyfamily.Ohedtosoloupthecorridor.AsIpassedhisroom,therewasmyfaithfulfriendinthedoorway.Hewasaslenderdarkan.Istoppedami.Heiohiswife,andhissonwhowaslyinglistlesslyinahospitalbed.ThedayasImademyscheduledwalk,hecameoutahmetomyrooHeexplaiheandhiswifehadbroughttheirteehishospitalofhopefromIraillhoping,butthigoioldmeofhowIhadencedhimonthatfirstdreadfulnight'swalkingtouraihreemoreweeksweuedourversations-eagtheiftandfrieoldmeofhowheenjoyedseeingmyfamilyastheyralliedaroundmeandIwassaddehelohatsmallfamilysofarfromhome.
Miraculously,theredideadaywheoldmeIwouldbedischargedthefoll.ThatnightItoldmyfriemhe.Ihadbeenupanddressedsin.MybrightyellavemehopeandIalmostlookedhumaalkedabit.ItoldhimIwouldprayforhissohashruggedhisshoulders,indigthehopelessness.ouldheragain,inthisworld.Thismaninhissorroyforme.Ifelthislove.Hetookmyhandandsaid,“Youaremysister.”
Iansweredbadsaid,“Youaremybrother.”
Heturheroo
Myfamilycametoretrieveme.Dodosaytheirgoodbyesandgiveorders.AllbusinesshadbeentakeersevenandahalfweeksIwasleavialroomIhadwalkedintowithsomuchtrepidation.
AsIturowalkdownthecorridortotheelevator,mybrotherstoodinthedoorway,smiling,noddingandgivinghisblessing.
Itwas14yearsagotodayonMarch17th1990thatIeroomandmuchhashappeheworldsiherandIsaidourlastfarewell.YetIthinkofhimoftenandheisalwaysiasIfeelIaminhis.Irememberhisintense,darkbroledgedourselvesasbrotherahatmomeadoubtthattheSpiritofGodhoveredoverussmiling,noddingandblessinguswiththekweareallone.
ManytimesIhavepoheyearswhywehumaourdearestfriendsorbohanotherpersovulhinkitisbewefacealifethreateningillness,jobloss,whatevertheaybe;weareleftpletelyretensionasandsoulsareopentothosearoundusaoaccepttheloveandkihers-almostasfreelyandthankfullyasacceptlove.Thiskindofloveisblindtorace,ddleadstoapairofdarkbrowneyesseekingapairofveryblueeyesandpledgiwilllastthroughtime.
午夜早已过去,我站在雄伟的纽约医院九楼病房的窗前,身上裹着暖和的羊毛大衣,默默地凝视着窗外的第五十九街大桥。
它如同圣诞树般闪烁着美丽的光芒。
对我而言,纽约城永远都是那么特别,有百老汇大剧院、音乐以及形形色色、不同档次的餐馆。
“这个城市本就应该是这样。”
我想着,早晨的到来和其伴随的未知状况使我惊恐不安。
然而早晨终究来临,那天是3月17日。
上午九点,我被推进手术室。
再次被推回疗养室时,已经过去了十一个小时零四十五分钟。
没过几个小时,我就被送回自己的病房。
我发现自己居然可以站起来,并可以在家人和医疗器械的帮助下行走。
遵照医嘱,我要在医院的长廊里走上一个来回。
那是我第一次见到他。
由于药物和疼痛的影响,我看着他,感觉一切都很模糊且毫无真实感。
他站在一间病房门口。
在我模糊的眼中,他不像是一个完整的人影,而是如鬼魂一般。
然而,不知为何,我还是从这个身影的肢体语言中感受到了他对我的同情和鼓励。
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