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第9章每个成功者都知道的秘密(9)
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&imeyousayyestoagoalorobjective,yousaynotmanymore.Everyprizehasitsprice.Theprizeistheyes;thepriceisthenoriedUkrainian-Ameribaritooldofhisearlydaysstudyingvoiokeapipe,butonedayhisprofessorsaid,"Igor,youwillhavetomakeupyourmiheryter,reatpipe-smoker,youotbeboth."Sothepipewent.
Delayedgratifi
M.ScottPeck,M.D.,authorofthebest-sellerTheRoadLessTraveled,describesthistoolofdiseas"aprocessofsgthepainandpleasureoflifeinsuchawayastoehepleasurebymeetingahepainfirstaoverwith."
Thismightiinedailydeethingassimpleasskippingafavoritelate-nightTVshowaobedearly,tobewideawakeforameetimhtiermresolves.Ayoungiththreedecidedtoiherilementiionforherself.Shesideredtherealitiesofatightbudgetaime,buttheseseemedsmallsacrifireturhatadegreewouldopen.Todaysheisahighlypaidfinansultant.
&ofsueingpastthedrudgeryahedelight."Thefactisthatmanyworthwhileendeavorsaren'tfun,"sayssyndicatedradioandTVortCrim,"True,alllaymakesJohnnyadullbtoturhioplaymakesforterriblefrustrations,becauselife—everewardingone—includescesthataren'tfunatall.Ilikemyjobasajournalist.It'spersonallysatisfying,bititisn'talwaysfun."
Agabalance
Neverfusedisewithrigidity.Perfeottheaim;rather,striveforthepeaindthatbeinginchargeofyourself.
Mostofuserludesinourworktotakeawalkoreatsnack-whateverrevivesandrefreshes.Yourbreathersdon'thytoshakeoutthedgivesomerelief.Suchrewardsativesforfinishingatask,asingyoutomaiu
Truediseachievesabalance,n.Evendiseedstobedised.
Self-development
Disedpeoplearehappierpeoplebecausetheyarefulfilliial.Awomanatoneofmyseminarstoldmeabouthersixyear-olddaughterithateamandpracticedeverymforanhour,swimming2000to3000meters,sherelatedaversatihterhadwithafamilyfriend.
"Doyoulikeswimming?"thefriendasked.
"Yes,Iloveit."
"Isitfun?"
"No!"
Thatsix-year-oldhadlearmanyadultshejoyofdisdself-development.Uheveryworddiseputsusoffbecauseitsouiveandpuruaalkingustomakesurewetoetheliruediseisn'tonyourbagyouwithimperatives;itisatyourside,nudgingyouwithiives.Whehatdiseisself-otself-g,youwoneatitsmention,butwillcultivateit.
CharleyBoswell,aformerUyofAlabamafootballstarwithhopesofaprofessionalbaseballcareer,losthiseyesightinWorldWarII,butthatdidn'tstophim"tobeetheNationalBlindGolfes."Hewasquotedassaying,"IwhatI'velost.IonlytwhatIhaveleft."Thatisself-development—thatisdise.
Habit-gstrategies
Manyaperson'sdowryingtogeabadhabitbyfoanundesirablebehaviortoreplaceit.
tlesspeopletellmetheywouldliketoeatbetterbutdon'twantto"giveup"tastyfood.Ratherthanthinkingaboutwhatthey'thave,theyshouldthinkaboutwhattheyeat.Fruitjuicewithsparklierisadelicioussubstitutefh-caloriesoftdrinks;snadcookiespreparedwithwholegrainsasgivedybarsgoodpetition.
Itisogeoldhabits.Awomaaseminarandsaid,"I'msoundised.I'tsticktoadietandmyhouseisalwaysamess.Ifeellikeaslob."Itoldhershewasn'ttotallyundised."Youmadeittothisce.Youarrivepromptlyatea,alydressed."Shealmostsmiled,andthe;There'sprobablyareasonwhyyouhaven'tbeeoloseweightetyourhomei;
Later,Ifoundouttherewasabigreason.Sheedayearbefore.Herhusbandhadbeenanalcoholicwhoverballyabusedherall24yearse.Itneveroccurredtoherthatapoorself-imageingherfromeffegpositiveges.Withthisrealizatioheepinbringingmoredisetoherlife—bygoingforg.Meanwhile,someofherfrieoetoherhouseandhelpherup,puttingherevenmoresolidlyonahabit-gcourse.
Mier
IremembermyschooldaysandMomularreveille:"Timetogetup!"Iagonizedihelastminuteandranmymother'spatieheodhadtogetmyselfup.Finally,tiredofakihatwhenthealarmrang,Iwouldrise—justbecauseIwaardlessofhowIfelt.Ithasworkedeversince.
InFeelingGood,TheherapyDavidD.Burns,M.D.,writes:"Motivatioefirst,adoes!Youhavetoprimethepump.Ifyouwaituntilyou're'inthemood,'youmaywaitforever."Whenyoudon'tfeellikedoihiitoff,butit'softeiaskthatwebeehighlymotivated.
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